Rejection: Why it hurts so badly?

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There are many uncertainties in the world, and many certainties.  The sky is blue, The Earth is round, and stars exist. Yet, one of the most certainties that we have in life is that there will be a time in our life that will be faced with rejection. Yes, Rejection is something that none of us wants to experience, yet will have to experience over the course of our own lives. Yet, what makes rejection so devastating to us. Firstly we have to analyze what rejection is.  Definition of rejection is to refuse to believe, accept, or consider. Now, read that one more time and see what is unique about the definition. Your refusal to believe that person can be a rejection. Your refusal to accept a person can be a rejection. And finally, Your refusal to consider that person is also a rejection. Therefore, there is no ambiguity that rejection is all-encompassing. When you don’t believe in a person, accept a person, or even consider that person, than that is the worst kind of rejection. It is a total isolation. That’s why it hurts so badly. Therefore, don’t let rejection be the cause of the sadness in your life.Embrace it, through the process of synthetic happiness. This will be discussed in the next post.

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Self-worthiness: How it has been polluted by the life we live in?

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One of the most defining attributes that any human being  desires is to be recognized. Even, Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of The United States, years before his presidency and the Civil War, only wanted to be recognized. This attribute that we have as a human race is seen from every level of society. Whether you are poor or rich, man or women, young or old, You only wish to be able to be recognized. People believe that being recognized adds to their own self-worth. Yet, we somehow attribute our own selves to our work. If our work fails, we are worthless, and if we are successful in our endeavors, we attribute ourselves as good. This is however, a very dangerous concept to have, especially if it is embedded into you in a very young age.

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One thing that has been told to me, and probably everyone reading is that Life is unfair. We might want something, but that dosent mean we are going to get what we want.  Which is why we should not attribute our self-worth to what happens to us in our lives. Life is very unpredictable, to the point where we will never know what will happen the next second. Therefore, if we base our self-worth on life, it is very fluctuating and unsteady.  There needs to be something more steady than that.

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Another thing that Self-worth is based on is friends. This too is very fluctuating, but we believe that friends will be there forever and that they will never leave our side. In attributing self-esteem with friends, we will then try to imitate them in every way possible.This leads to doing anything to fit in, which in known as peer pressure. Peer pressure is a very dangerous thing for anyone to be inflicted with, as it may make you do something that at an earlier time you wouldn’t have thought yourself capable of doing. This type of attribution is very flimsy. I am not saying that you shouldn’t make friends. There is a tremendous amount of good in having a close group of friends. However, don’t compromise your strong held values for the sake of your friends. If they are your friends, they will respect that you have an opinion and your friendship will only grow because of it.

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In addition, there are more sources of Self-worthiness that will cause problems for you such as Academic Performance, Family Support, Doing better than others and appearances. For more statistical information about this, read this study posted by the American Psychological Association about Self-worth:

For the study, Crocker surveyed more than 600 college freshmen three times during the year–before they left for college and at the end of the fall and spring semesters. Overall, students were found to have a high level of self-esteem. When students were asked about what they base their self-worth on, more than 80 percent said academic competence, 77 percent said their family’s support, 66 percent said doing better than others, and 65 percent–70 percent of which were women–said their appearance.

College students who based their self-worth on academic performance did not receive higher grades despite being highly motivated and studying more hours each week than students who did not rate academic performance as important to their self-esteem, Crocker found. Students who based their self-worth on academic outcomes also were more likely to report conflicts with professors and greater stress.

“They feel motivated to do well in academics, but having their self-worth on the line doesn’t help their performance,” Crocker says. She speculates that students who base their self-worth on academic performance might become anxious and distracted and threatened by feelings of failure, and, as such, their anxiety might then interfere with their memory.

In reading through this study, we see that there is a common theme with the answers of attributing self-worth; They are all external. They are all factors that we see, talk, or interact with each and everyday. Therefore,the answer that is for the question of what should our self-worthiness be attributed to is very simple. It is internal sources, mainly your own self.

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The only choice to base your life on, which will not cause you distress is to attribute your own self worth to your own self; Mainly, through morals and high standards. It is the only thing that is constant, and you have the full ability to control it. Therefore, Put your self-worth in yourself. Then, you will truly cleanse the filth that tainted your self-worth before. Only then, will you feel good about your own self because you are its primary motivation.

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Loneliness: How it can be both good and bad?

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When people hear the word loneliness, their initial reaction to that Idea is one of sadness is remorse. Nobody wants to be lonely. Everyone desires another being in order to share their thoughts, love, and affection with. This is evident throughout the cycle of human development. As a child, we desire the love of our parents. As a Teenager, we want to share our thoughts with our friends. As an Adult, we show our affection to either our wife, but especially to our kids. Therefore, Loneliness is not something that is desirable to anyone, at any age. Therefore, we should delve into the cons of Loneliness before we do the pros.

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Loneliness is usually achieved if there is no one in your life that you have. This is what is called social isolation. You are alone, with nor relatives, friends, or acquaintances to do activities with. This is the second highest degree of loneliness out there. Probably the worst kind of loneliness is solitary confinement. The difference between them is that one you are forced to be put there, while the other deals with the situation around you becoming Lonely.  However, for less degrees of loneliness consists of six parts:

Interpersonal loneliness: This is the result of losing a significant, or intimate, relationship.

2. Social loneliness: This is where a person is on the fringes of a group, excluded from a group, or is actively rejected.

3. Cultural loneliness: This is where a person belongs to a different culture and feels that they don’t fit, or belong, in the new culture.

4. Intellectual loneliness: This is where a person feels intellectually, or educationally, out of synch with their peers, their family or their social group.

5. Psychological loneliness: This is where a person has experienced a trauma that separates them out from others around them. That is, it’s something other people can’t fully understand.

6. Existential or cosmic loneliness: This is an isolating loneliness experienced by a person who is facing death.

Those six points are what constitutes Loneliness,not including extreme isolation from people and society. Loneliness is not an issue to take lightly , as it is one of the factors that lead people to commit suicides . Such  a sad thing if you think about how the only reason that these people committed suicide was because they wanted to have a friend. Which brings me to the point on why the power of friendship is so great; It cures the loneliness that we have in ourselves by having someone we can talk to, and share our thoughts with. What we believe to be just a person we “hang out” with can be our closest confidante.  Yet, we need to look at the other side of the spectrum. Sometimes you need to have time to yourself.

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When we exert ourselves in things what that we do, varying from work, school, or at home, it takes a lot of energy out of us. Therefore, we need to spend time with a very vital person in our lives, our own selves.  We need to allocate time to ourselves or we will be burnt out. Therefore, there is a need for some alone time with ourselves. It helps us delve into our own selves and allows us to rejuvenate our selves for the day to come. Therefore, we need to allocate time to ourselves; It will do us good.

In conclusion, we need to allocate time for ourselves, yet not isolate our selves from the world to a point where we will be lonely every single day we are in that state. We need to balance our responsibilities, because they are numerous and each one requires that we are able to fulfill it. Finally, I hope that you never experience the pains that extreme loneliness inflicts. It is a bludgeoning pain.

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A Heart of Darkness: What causes it?

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One of the most worst things that you may possess is a heart of darkness. Yet what is it that makes a heart of Darkness what it is. There are so many factors that may contribute to it, yet there are common factors throughout people that make a Heart of Darkness. One of the causes that may contribute to a heart of Darkness may be the fact that we have evil thoughts in our head. These evil thoughts make both are minds and our hearts dark. These is considered the worst of the “Heart of Darkness” due to the fact that the premise on which it was created harbors the most evil. Another common factor for creating a “Heart of Darkness” is to reach a level of insensitivity in which your heart becomes black because of the pollution cause by words and thoughts of the beholder. This is causes not in one day, but gradually over time as the heart accumulates a black spot for every time it does an insensitivity. Finally you may possess a heart of Darkness if you perceive everyone around you as evil. When the mind sees Darkness around it, it to becomes one with the Darkness. This occurs when there is evil confronted to the beholder, usually from a young age. In that sense, the young person’s mind is polluted are therefore sees the world as evil, which in return creates a heart of Darkness. Therefore, it should be noted that a heart of Darkness is the most difficult thing to heal due to it being the most vital organ to your body. Therefore, never develop a heart of darkness or it will be your undoing.

After a Long Day, All you need is a …..

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The day has started. I see that my alarm has done its purpose of waking me from a sleep that was a joy while it lasted. I rise from my crusty bed, dead in appearance and moaning like the walking dead. I go to the bathroom where the shower will transform me and get me ready for the rest of my day. I take a second to catch a breath, and then I get ready to go to the place where all my joys and worries are. I arrive at the school in nothing more than a shirt, jacket, and pants. Yet on my feet are sandals which refuse to do the purpose of keeping me warm like shoes have done. I arrive sluggishly to my class and I see that the teacher is watching us, anxious to give us our results from the test last week. I look at the teacher and I can see that there will be blood. Each second I wait, I could see the tension building until the bell has sounded. One ring, two rings, three rings, and the faithful verdict have come. The teacher ironically gives the first test to me and I see the faithful grade. The verdict has been given, covered with the red ink which I dreadfully abhor. I look and all my hopes, all my dreams have come crashing down. I take a second to ponder on what has happened, but an overwhelming sadness has overtaken me that only by years of self-discipline would have physically been shown. For the rest of the class I was in a world of my own, a world of hurt and despair. I wait for the bell. One ring, two rings, three rings, the salvation has come. I rush out of that classroom and go to the library, the sanctuary of my feelings. I wait there for a couple of hours and then I go outside to wait for my parents. Then as if nothing could have gotten worse, the sky let go of its bounty and it rained on the subjects on the ground. I sat there cold and shivering and I thought about how this day could get any worse. I have been emotionally and physically abused. As I sit there, I use every ounce of the power I can muster to control myself. Yet, as if destiny had foretold this moment, a young man has come and sits right next to me. He asks me about my day and I replied that it was going terrible. I told them I just wanted to end the day. The person then did something that even the greatest of treasures and fortunes could never fully qualify as this gift: He smiled at me. As a saw this smile, this innocent, honest smile, my heart rose and grew. As I saw this smile, I saw that it was washing my troubles away just like the rain was bombarding me with its troubles. The smile made me forget about my troubles and mesmerized me to this individual. As all great things come to an end, the individual had to leave, but he had made an effect on me with his smile. That individual showed ma happiness in a barren wasteland that’s appearance would make you think that God himself brought his wrath on it. That individual had saved my day, and I truly thanked him for the gift that he bestowed upon me. I then saw a man whose appearance were the same as mines and I asked him how his day today was. I then smiled.

 

Frankenstein: A Reflection

I feel that Frankenstein has been a source of inspiration of its time. It has become an integral part of the society that we live in today. Frankenstein’d monster is considered to be the epitome of human loneliness and the need for us to have a connection with another person. All that the monster wants is to be loved and create his own identity. Even in failure, the monster wants to be able to forge his own identity, by requesting from his creator to create a female counterpart. Therefore, can Frankenstein be the manifestation of the culture around him. What I mean is that does it make sense that the monster will take on the persona of the environment around him.What do you think though? Please leave thoughts in comments and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.

Why do I laugh?

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Why do I laugh? I laugh because it allows me to express my emotions. It can release tensions building up inside of me. Laughing can also show that you are in tune with the person you are talking to. But the question is: why do I laugh?

I laugh because it affects both me and the people around me. Imagine If I was a person who couldn’t laugh; I shudder at the thought of imagining this scenario. I need to laugh in order to relieve what is inside me. A lot of people laugh in order to relieve tensions on themselves. Maybe through the act of me laughing, I can inspire other people to laugh also. I laugh in order to fit in the social order that we as people have created for ourselves. If we don’t laugh, people may view us as stubborn scrooges.

There are, however, different kinds of laughter. Laughter can encompass both good and bad emotions. These emotions can include sad, happy, and awkward. These many uses of laughter make the action of laughter non-restrictive. Since laughter can express so many uses, we have to be on the lookout for people that don’t mean their action. We need to be cautious and can’t be too credulous. There is a power in laughter, so don’t take that power too lightly.

Laughing can also show a different side of you that no one has ever seen. That side could be the side you have been holding to yourself. Laughing not only brings joy to us, but to the world. People don’t realize the potential laughing has; it is an infectious action unparallel to anything else. You can change someone’s day by that laugh of yours. You have to remember that laughing is power. You can change the world one laugh at a time.