Loneliness: How it can be both good and bad?

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When people hear the word loneliness, their initial reaction to that Idea is one of sadness is remorse. Nobody wants to be lonely. Everyone desires another being in order to share their thoughts, love, and affection with. This is evident throughout the cycle of human development. As a child, we desire the love of our parents. As a Teenager, we want to share our thoughts with our friends. As an Adult, we show our affection to either our wife, but especially to our kids. Therefore, Loneliness is not something that is desirable to anyone, at any age. Therefore, we should delve into the cons of Loneliness before we do the pros.

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Loneliness is usually achieved if there is no one in your life that you have. This is what is called social isolation. You are alone, with nor relatives, friends, or acquaintances to do activities with. This is the second highest degree of loneliness out there. Probably the worst kind of loneliness is solitary confinement. The difference between them is that one you are forced to be put there, while the other deals with the situation around you becoming Lonely.  However, for less degrees of loneliness consists of six parts:

Interpersonal loneliness: This is the result of losing a significant, or intimate, relationship.

2. Social loneliness: This is where a person is on the fringes of a group, excluded from a group, or is actively rejected.

3. Cultural loneliness: This is where a person belongs to a different culture and feels that they don’t fit, or belong, in the new culture.

4. Intellectual loneliness: This is where a person feels intellectually, or educationally, out of synch with their peers, their family or their social group.

5. Psychological loneliness: This is where a person has experienced a trauma that separates them out from others around them. That is, it’s something other people can’t fully understand.

6. Existential or cosmic loneliness: This is an isolating loneliness experienced by a person who is facing death.

Those six points are what constitutes Loneliness,not including extreme isolation from people and society. Loneliness is not an issue to take lightly , as it is one of the factors that lead people to commit suicides . Such  a sad thing if you think about how the only reason that these people committed suicide was because they wanted to have a friend. Which brings me to the point on why the power of friendship is so great; It cures the loneliness that we have in ourselves by having someone we can talk to, and share our thoughts with. What we believe to be just a person we “hang out” with can be our closest confidante.  Yet, we need to look at the other side of the spectrum. Sometimes you need to have time to yourself.

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When we exert ourselves in things what that we do, varying from work, school, or at home, it takes a lot of energy out of us. Therefore, we need to spend time with a very vital person in our lives, our own selves.  We need to allocate time to ourselves or we will be burnt out. Therefore, there is a need for some alone time with ourselves. It helps us delve into our own selves and allows us to rejuvenate our selves for the day to come. Therefore, we need to allocate time to ourselves; It will do us good.

In conclusion, we need to allocate time for ourselves, yet not isolate our selves from the world to a point where we will be lonely every single day we are in that state. We need to balance our responsibilities, because they are numerous and each one requires that we are able to fulfill it. Finally, I hope that you never experience the pains that extreme loneliness inflicts. It is a bludgeoning pain.

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Doing what you love: How to Emulate Hank Gathers in our lives.

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I recently watched a documentary about a Loyola Marymount University Student named Hank Gathers, who played basketball for them from 1988-1990. Hank showed promise as a Major NBA prospect and is the second player in NCAA history to lead the league in both scoring and rebounding in the same season.  He loved to play the game of basketball; he pushed himself to achieve the greatness that he felt he needed to reach.  He had an innate desire to succeed because he was born in an impoverished environment. Born in Philadelphia, in a place which was known as “the Projects”, Hank lived a very poor life and the only thing that got him through his early days was playing Basketball. He loved the sport of Basketball, dedicated himself to it everyday. His goal was to be Good enough that he may make his families live’s better, especially his mother’s. Probably the only thing that he loved more than Basketball was his mother. Therefore, he worked his hardest to excel not for himself, but for his family, whose hopes and dreams were placed on his shoulders.

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